What makes a good parent?
A great parent is someone who strives to make choices in the best interest of the kid.
What makes a fantastic parent is not only identified by the parent 's actions, but also the intention of theirs.
A good parent does not have to be ideal. Nobody is perfect. No child is ideal either … keeping this in mind is essential when we set the expectations of ours.
Successful parenting isn't about achieving perfection. But it does not imply that we shouldn't work to that goal. Set very high standards for ourselves first and then the children of ours second. We serve as role models that are important for them.
Top Ten Parenting Tips
Here are 10 tips for a terrific parenting experience, including the way to avoid bad parenting, and be a much better parent.
They aren't all that simple or fast.
And probably nobody can do them all the time.
While you may not always do all of these things, though the suggestions in this parenting guide can help you move in the right direction.
#1 BE A good Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Don't just tell your child what you want them to do.
The best way to teach is to show them.
Human is a special species in part since we are able to learn by imitation. We're programmed to imitate others' actions, comprehend them, and incorporate them into our own. Children, in particular, watch everything their parents do very thoroughly.
Thus, function as the individual you want your child to be - respect your child, show them positive attitude and behavior, have empathy towards your kid's emotion - as well as your kid will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show them Through ACTION
Demonstrate the love of yours.
There is no such thing as loving your child too much. Loving them cannot spoil them.
Only what you choose to do (or give) in the name of love can - things like material indulgence, leniency, low expectation, and over-protection. When these things are provided in place of love that is real, that is when you will have a spoiled kid.
Loving your child can be as easy as offering them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and also hearing your kid's problems seriously.
Showing these acts of love can cause the release of feel good hormones like oxytocin. These neurochemicals can bring us a full feeling of contentment, emotional warmth, and calm; from these, the kid, will develop resilience and never to point out a closer relationship with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Babies are born with around 100 billion brain cells (neurons) with comparatively few connections. These connections create the thoughts of ours, drive our actions, shape our personalities, and essentially determine who we're. They are created, strengthened, and "sculpted" through life experiences.
Give your child positive family interaction, particularly in the early years. They will then be equipped to experience positive experiences themselves and provide them to others.
But if you give your child negative experiences, they will not have the kind of development necessary for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Use a tickle marathon. Go to the park. Laugh with the child of yours. Allow them to have positive attention. Drive through an emotional tantrum with them. Solve an issue together with an optimistic attitude.
These positive experiences produce good neural connections into your child's brain and create the memories of you your child carries for life.
With regards to discipline, it seems difficult to remain positive, especially when dealing with behavior issues. But it's possible by using positive discipline and avoiding strong discipline.
Being a good parent means you need to teach the child of yours the morals of what is right and what is wrong.
Setting limits and being constant is the golden rule to discipline that is good. Be firm and kind when you establish rules and implement them. Focus on the reason for the child's misbehavior. And allow it to be an opportunity for them to learn for the future in a good manner, rather than to get punished for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR The CHILD of yours
Let your child realize that you will always be there for them by being responsive to your child's signals and sensitive to the needs of theirs. Support and accept the child of yours as an individual. Be a warm and safe place for the child of yours to explore from and go back to.
Children raised by parents who are consistently responsive have much better psychological regulation development, social skills development, and mental health outcomes.
#5: Talk with The CHILD of yours And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Many of us know already the importance of communication. Talk to your child and also listen to them carefully. By keeping an open line of communication, you will have a much better connection with the child of yours as well as your child will come to you when there is an issue.
But there's an additional reason for communication. You help your child integrate different parts of their brain, a critical process in a child's development.
Integration is akin to the body of ours, in which various organs should coordinate and work in concert to have a trully healthy body. When various regions of the brain are incorporated, they are able to work harmoniously as a whole, which means fewer tantrums, more good behavior, more empathy, and better mental well-being.
To accomplish that, conversation through troubling experiences. Ask the child of yours to describe what happened and how they felt to develop attuned communication.
You don't have to provide solutions. You do not have to have all of the answers to be an excellent parent. Simply paying attention to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using words that are simple are going to help them make sense of the experiences of theirs and integrate the memories of theirs.
#6: Reflect on Your own personal CHILDHOOD
Many of us want to parent differently from our parents. Even those who had an excellent upbringing and a thankful childhood may want to change several elements of how they were brought up.
But really frequently, when we open the mouths of ours, we speak just like our own parents did.
Reflecting on the own childhood of ours is an action towards understanding why we parent the way we do. Make note of things you would like changing and think of how you'd get it done differently in a genuine scenario. Try to be aware and change the behavior of yours the next time those issues come up.
Don't quit if you don't succeed in the beginning. It takes practice, lots of practice to consciously alter one 's child-rearing strategies.
#7: Pay attention to Your own WELL-BEING
Parents require relief too.
Give consideration to your own well being to prevent parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things including the own needs of yours or the overall health of your marriage are kept on the back burner when a kid is born. If you do not pay attention to them, they are going to become bigger issues down the road. Take time to enhance your relationship with the spouse of yours.
Stressed-out parents are more prone to fighting. Do not be afraid to request parenting help. To have some "me time" for self-care and stress management is crucial to rejuvenate the brain.
How parents take care of the child of theirs physically and mentally can make a big difference in the parenting of theirs and family life. If these two areas fail, the child of yours will suffer, also.
#8: Do not SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
Undoubtedly, to some parents, spanking is able to bring about short term compliance which sometimes is a much needed relief for the parents.
Nevertheless, this method does not teach the child right from wrong. It simply teaches the child to fear external consequences. The kid is then motivated to stay away from getting caught with inappropriate behavior.
Spanking your child is modeling to the child that he/she can resolve issues by violence. A child who's spanked, smacked, or hit is more vulnerable to fighting with other children. They are much more apt to become bullies and also to use verbal/physical aggression to resolve disputes.
Later in life, they're additionally more likely to lead to delinquency and oppositional behavior, worse parent child human relationships, mental health issues, and domestic violence victims or abusers.
You will find an assortment of better alternatives to discipline which have been shown to be much more effective, such as positive discipline (Tip #3 above positive reinforcement and).
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What's the goal of yours in raising a child?
If you're like the majority of parents, you would like the child of yours to do well in school, be productive, be responsible and independent, be respectful, enjoy positive associations along with you and some, be to care and compassionate, plus have a happy, healthy and also fulfilling life.
But how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
If you're like most parents, you probably spend most of the time just trying to get through the day. As authors, Bryson and Siegel, point out in the book of theirs, The Whole Brain kid, rather than helping your kid thrive, spent most of time simply attempting to survive!
To not allow the survival mode dominate the life of yours, the next time you're feeling frustrated or angry, step back. Consider what frustration and anger can do for you or the child of yours.
Rather, look for ways to switch every negative experience into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums can be turned into priceless brain sculpting moments in case you concentrate on teaching the child of yours, not trying to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT By utilizing Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I don't mean shortchanging your child with tricks. What I mean is taking advantage of what's currently known by scientists.
Parenting is one of the most researched fields in psychology. Many parenting strategies, traditions, or practices were scientifically researched, verified, refined, or refuted.
For best parenting advice for raising a child and information which are supported by science, here is among my personal favorite science based parenting books, The Science of Parenting.
Using scientific knowledge is of course not a one-size-fits-all approach. Every child is different. Quite possibly within the very best parenting style, there can be many different good parenting methods you can choose based on your child's temperament.
A very good example is using spanking to discipline. You will find numerous better alternatives, e.g. redirection, reasoning, time-in, etc. You can choose a non punitive discipline method that works best for the child of yours.
Of course, you are able to additionally choose to utilize "traditional" or "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or maybe spanking) and may nonetheless get a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has found us that children with various temperaments respond to the quality of parenting differently.
Those who are more vulnerable to parenting quality will have much better outcomes under good parenting but even worse outcomes under poor parenting.
Those people who are much less susceptible may "turn out fine" regardless of how tough their parents treat them. Though it doesn't imply those practices are good. These children are merely lucky. They could thrive despite bad parenting, not due to it.
Why take a chance with sub par parenting practices if you can use well-researched, better ones?
The value of parenting cannot Parentinghowto be underestimated. Taking science based parental advice may not be the simplest way to parent. It may require much more work on your part in the short term but can help you save lots of time and agony in the long term.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The good thing is, that although parenting is difficult, it is additionally really rewarding. The bad part is the rewards typically come later than the hard work. But in case we try our best today, we will ultimately reap the rewards and have nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!